Posts tagged ‘Uncategorized’

Everyone needs a little flesh sometimes.

Found:

Flesh in Royco Cooking Sauce. That’s right. It’s freaking flesh.

(that’s what it looks like anyway)

(Obviously)

It came slooshing out of our cooking in sauce and a quick call to the complaint line went a bit like this:

Me: Hi, I want to complain

Operator: What would you like to complain about?

Me: there seems to be flesh in my cook in sauce.

*phone disconnection* (My imagination has cooked up her screaming curse words for lack of better things to say)

Me: HI, I found Flesh in my cook in sauce.

Operator: Excuse me?

Me: Flesh. Cooking Sauce. F-L-E-S-H.(at this point I giggled. I mean there is flesh in my food. FLESH!)

Operator: Oh I see.

She took my details. I got a call the next morning.

New Operator: I received a message about a foreign body.

Me: Yes, you could call it that. A body.

She had me explain what it looked like

ME: like flesh of some-sort *notice the repetition?* about the size of a palm.

N.O: We take foreign bodies very seriously.

I’m sure she did. I’ve been barraged by phone calls for the last two weeks, and no one will believe me. There was a piece of flesh in my dinner. And someone’s gonna pay.

Or perhaps they already have…

Anyone missing a hand?

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June 18, 2009 at 12:45 pm 4 comments

I like my husband.

Hubs is a great guy. He took me to the art store when I told him that everything was 50% off. (In SA the best sales are 35% off at best. This is a BIG sale) I was so excited. We waltz through the steel gate into paradise.

And I saw them.

Inkadinkado Rubber Stamps.

They are gorgeous.

Hubs looked at me when I pulled them off the shelf. I begged he conceded. As I pranced with the joy of holding beautiful objects, he casually mentions “Babe, I have wooden blocks at home for you to decorate.” Oh how sweet! I giggled and thanked him and we paid.

Utterly confused, Hubs says, “I’m sorry. How in the hell are you going to fit a BLOCK OF WOOD into a book.”

A block of wood?

A block of rubber stamping wood.

And then everything made sense.

Poor supportive Hubs. He did everything to make sure I found joy even if it meant gluing blocks of wood into a book.

Doesn’t he win?

May 28, 2009 at 8:31 pm 5 comments

Myself as a six year old

When I was a kid I wanted to be a race car driver/dancer/pediatrician/teacher. I had it all worked out. I even had time in the afternoon after my lunch break to be a beautician if I so desired. There were so many hours in the day without nap time to do things that I desired. I truly believed I had the world at my feet.

And I did.

Despite my confidence at age 6, as I grew taller the days grew shorter. I am nearly 5′ 11″. The days are freakin’ short now.

Age muddles things. Dreams are less clear as we fight cynicism. Things are not bright and shiny and crystally any longer. I no longer know how I will make my contribution to society. I feel fear. I feel regret and I feel hesitation.

Not everything has changed since I was six though. I am still naive. I am still ridiculously sassy. My hair still forms ringlets and despite training myself to stop believing in fairy tales, I do still believe in happy endings.

My happy ending is approaching.

Happy Endings may never be happily ever after. But the Fi is my happy ending. Marrying the Fi is my happily ever after.

(That might just be naive bride-to-be speaking, but go with it people. Just go with it.)

January 22, 2009 at 3:12 pm 5 comments

I am de weeeener

I won my first little bloggy award. Thanks to Sco-man for offering it to me! 🙂

Things have gotten so insane around here that I can hardly breathe. Meeka my BFF is arriving in a mere 9 days and the wedding is in 33. So booyah. I am busy.

Deal with it.

January 20, 2009 at 10:25 am 5 comments

Today I have nothing to say.

Because I have no words today. See ya’ll when I find some.

December 29, 2008 at 6:47 am 2 comments

The most amazing post! :) (David the "Fi)

Well now that I’ve hacked into your account( Mr. Fi), I have to say, that your Blog Picture is so cool! 🙂 Johnny Depp is cool, well I’m glad that I came close by having a brother that is a Johnny depp Look-a-like. 😉 Little cute dogs are, well, cute… As long as it’s a Jack Russell. Dave Matthews , ROCKS… , I guess there is something to be said about being born in South Africa, Johannesburg. Ok, seriously, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS??????

December 19, 2008 at 4:06 pm Leave a comment

You know things are getting bad when people get creative.

I’m not sure where I saw this first. Heck, who knows where they see things like this first. In any case, I am being a horrible bloggy lady today and actually going to work. Yesterday i got a 1/2 day at the office and so today I better, you know, pick up the pace.

This is a supposed email that I got off funnyandjokes.com Hope you enjoy it

December 11, 2008 at 6:44 am 8 comments

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