Posts tagged ‘Love letters’

Love Letters II

Dear Kitchen Sink,

Please grow the self cleaning mechanisms to wash my dishes on my behalf. The way that you allow the dishes to pile up makes me look like a bad wife and an overall poor housekeeper. It’s despicable and I am tired of your sloppy approach to cleanliness. Get moving. Go, Go, Go.

Thanks,

The Boss

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Dear Heater,

Breaking down on the coldest day of the year to date was uncool. We gave you a chance to proof yourself and you failed. Big time. Be prepared to be replaced by one that will work harder than you.

Claim unemployment or something.

Love,

One frigid lady

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Dear Psychic that thinks Michael Jackson was an alien,

You are nuts.

Regards,

A logical person who knows that white skin, strange facial features and weird social tendencies are more accredited to weirdness than to extra terrestrials

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Dear my former Kettle,

What the freak? Why did you listen to the heater and kisk out on me? Just before the inlaws came over too? Are you planning a coup on me? Bad timing Mister. Very bad timing. I thought we were friends? All the great times we shared in that little icebox known as Pretoria- fubar. I’ll miss you, but you chose your own fate.

Goodbye,

An old friend who enjoyed too many steamy drinks at 4 in the morning.

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Dear New Board Game,

You are like monopoly and trivial pursuit but even hotter. I love you!

Love,

Your adoring fan

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Dear person who keeps sending me spam,

Suck it.

Best Regards,

The one who is getting tired of deleting your crap.

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Dear Weirdos who find my blog by typing porn words into Google,

Although it entertains Hubs and I with the words you type to try and find me, and although it will make one really funny post one day, I kind of find you revolting and wish for you to leave.

If that shines and sparkles with you, of course.

Thanks

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To: Sco-man,

I’m glad you are back.

From: Your #1 Fan

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Dear Spring,

Momma’s ready for you!

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Dear Hubs,

I positively adore you.

Love,

Your go-go

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Dear reader,

I’m glad you stopped by today. I love you.

Love,

Me.

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July 7, 2009 at 7:58 am 16 comments

I quit.

I am hereby handing in my resignation to today. I quit today. I quit this week. How do you feel now week?! How do you feel now today?!

I win.

May 15, 2009 at 10:27 am 4 comments

Love Letters

Dear Nissan,

Why oh why do you install tape decks into post 2000 Almera’s. It’s uncool. The radio and obscure tapes I happen to have from when I was 8 are really old now.

Please take note. The next car we get will either be silent or equipped with the top of the line Ipod dock. Thank you.

Regards,

Girl who can no longer tolerate Jeremy Mansfield or Garreth Cliff. Nor the Backstreet boys.
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Dear Blogger,

Why do you do your maintenance at 2:00 PDT? This happens to correspond perfectly with my lunch break. The globe just don’t run on one timezone.

Sincerely,

South African who likes to eat at 12:00 exactly and type up a post.

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Dear really big coffee cup,

I love you. And I love the copious amounts of coffee inside you.

Love,

Girl who feels overworked today.

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Dear Hubs,

Thanks for staying up late with me last night. It helped me feel more like I am 21 and not 81. Plus you talked me through all my internal issues. Who gets a husband like that?! You are the bomb.

Kisses,

Your 21 year old wife

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Dear Co-worker

If you seriously don’t stop talking about food, while I am trying to diet…. i will kill you.

Thanks,

Girl who already has shed 2 kgs and only has fifty million more to go

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Happy hump day you all you out there! Have a better day than I! 🙂

May 13, 2009 at 10:11 am 4 comments