Posts tagged ‘Johnny Depp is my boyfriend’

Hubs is da man.

Hubs and I have the world’s creepiestmost random conversations.

I asked him how he would function with a wife like Megan Fox.

She was deemed the world’s sexiest woman of 2009. (after a quick google search I understand why- the Woman doesn’t understand the idea of clothes very well). Anyhoozles, Hubs is da man. He didn’t know who she was!

‘Who is Megan Fox?’ were his exact words.

I was shocked. All I could muster up was:

Good answer, my love, good answer.

The End.


August 4, 2009 at 5:39 pm 6 comments

Listy-bisty-bobisty-banana fana- fo-fisty

Lists are easy to read. and this makes them fun.

My Extraordinary List of Awesome things:

1. Johnny Depp in the Libertine.

I watched this movie for the fifth thousandth time. Each time I am moved by it.

What is truly enjoying life? At what expense? This movie is rad. (in a oh my word I can never ever show this to anyone- kind of way)

2. Finding The World According to Garp.

I thought it was stolen. But alas, it has been redeemed from the confines of under-my-bed-opolis.

3. Sleep.

’nuff said.

4. Hubs.

He’s really awesome. Even when I lose my temper and yell at him. *blush*

List of Not Awesome Things

1. Spilling bleach on all my black winter clothes.

Stuff you bleach! grr…

2. My University is being retarded.

Stuff you University!

3. Clients.

Anyone who works with the direct public can say this all together:

“stuff you clients!”

4. The Striking Magical fairy that cleans my flat.

Stuff you mag…i…ca.. oh wait. That’s me. I can’t possibly stuff myself. Unless it’s with *copious* amounts of food. And when I do that I get all chubby around my face and that is just so NOT sexy. So no stuffing of ones self here.

(I probably don’t want to know the google results on that one)

Things I am waiting for:

1. Summer time

2. Summer time

3. Partying in the Summer time

4. Warmth and not coldness. (Just FYI: it was -4 this morning when I went to work *shocker*)

This concludes the post where by I sing a gay little song and write random stuff in a list format for you to read and judge me on.

The End.

July 28, 2009 at 7:51 pm 12 comments

Keyword Monday Already! Posted on Sunday night. Yes I am that cool.

Have you ever typed in the term ‘interesting crap’ and actually found something interesting?

Me neither.

It’s time once again for another addition of ‘interesting crap people type into to Google to find my Blog” (version 1 here)

My abso favs.

ipostnaked- Cause clothes are restricting on the creative impetus.

you need to stop drinking cartoon – It’s the right way to get Dad in Rehab.

coloring break the window – Bummer.

point system sex – Is… not what I talk about here. Thanks

thin is beautiful – I blame the media

easy to draw unicorns – Human unicorns might look like this:

sometimes im freaked out of my self – This can become very incovenient.

i love my boyfriend poems – Go somewhere else. Unless you wish to seek Dorothy Parker. And if that’s the case get off your gold digging ass and do something eh!

michael jackson in johnny deep- Um. Like saving ryans privates?

why do i feel like randomly touching things? – Pathetic much?

peeps bath – Right on.

wrinkles near my ears- Oh no! I have wrinkles on my forehead. Classic signs of aging. Facelift anyone?

surgery facebook status update- On google? You look for a Facebook update on google. You’re a smart one!

And about 10 Thousand versions of Michael Jackson’s nose.

It’s the truth.

And I didn’t even share the pornstar ones. Because my sister in law’s family all know I have a blog and who knows? One day they might just read this. And I need them to think highly of me and Hubs… and all.

It’s what’s important.

July 19, 2009 at 7:15 pm 5 comments

Random Crap and other things.

Last night was wonderful. M is now 18 months old and we are some serious besties.

M I love you. And not in a weird Michael Jackson way.

I spent the evening showing him bad habits, including shoving you tongue completely out of the mouth and waving your head from side to side. *So classy*

E is 4 years old- unless you ask him and then he’s 13. He told me of a few problems he’s having in school, including the fact that all the girls are marrying him. He was very disturbed that I no longer lived with my parents (with whom they are staying with during their visit) and am married myself. Which then spurned off the comment that E would like to marry my younger sister. For Real.

His mom nipped that one, “because you two are cousins. And we don’t live in the Free state.”

*deadpan face*

Oh, I love that woman.

There is little I appreciate more than the joy of reunited family.

The Weekend Plans:

Saturday is jam packed with:
1. The Dubaians
2. Coffee with my Mom
3. A Double date with some friends we haven’t seen for ages. They married 8 months or so before Hubs and I and we both got so busy with life that we keep missing one another.
4. And Sleep. Hopefully, lots of sleep. If you’ve been reading my tweets, you’ll know I am one tired madam.

I feel this will improve. The other night, when I awoke at 2 am for no apparent reason other than to piss myself off, Hubs brought me tea and sat up with me chatting about all the things that seemed outside of our control, and ways we could accept these things. Isn’t he wonderful?

Gush over.

Onto other things:

Michele from You and Me and Lucy has given me an award. Thank you for sending me the Meme Award Michele! |*party party* and stuff like that.

The award rules are:
1. Share seven tidbits about myself.
2. Share the award with seven blog friends!

So Here we go. Seven Tidbits about myself (As if I were so interesting)

1. I have this thing against being touched by people. The social hug actually disturbs me greatly. I get full on nervous when I get hugged. Especially by short people. I am 5’11” and often take a shoulder to the throat. It’s icky and if handshakes were more acceptable in the social circle for women I’d forgo the social hug completely.

2. I have a big crush on: 1. Johnny Depp and 2. Sting. I used to think Bono was pretty awesome too. But now he’s just a pile of crap whenever I look at him.

3. I want to learn to decorate cakes like a champion! I’m still no good, but one day I’d love to make a little business out of doing crap like that.

4. I full on don’t understand why people don’t think that they are awesome.

5. People should blame the media for this lack of self esteem. And pretty much everything else too.

6. I dislike people who refuse to be open minded. Not that everyone has to agree, and by open minded I don’t mean liberal, but those who refuse to listen to other opinions are elitist and they should be shunned by society. It’s rude…And probably rooted in the media.

7. Despite despising the media, my main goal is to write an amazing novel one day and maybe a second one. And more. I hope to hone my talent and blow the crappiness surrounding female writers away. Why is it that so many modern female writers pale in comparison to their male counterparts? Because they have allowed themselves to. Yes, I’m talking to you Stephanie Meyers. *evil eyes*

I’ll link to seven Fabulous blogs now:

Being Brazen
– She’s a local blogger who writes a super positive blog – and trickles in some wellness too! 🙂

Hillbilly Duhn – She’s hilarious. She’s classy. and She’s right there for you to go say hi to.

Miss Rambles – She’s a new blog crush of mine. She’s got a voice of her own and style to boot.

Trina – I really enjoy her blog. She’s going through some yuckiness. Go give her a hug.

LiLu – It’s so great that the mightly LiLu visits all her commentors. I get starstruck everytime 🙂

Sco Man – Scoman enjoys long walks on the beach and getting caught in the rain. He’s single and fabulous. Give him a shout out.

Megan– Her blog is so sweet and heartfelt. It’s nice to read serenity.

Mel – Mel’s blog is just a lot of crazy fun. Give her a shout from me too! 🙂

Have a fab weekend! xxoo

July 17, 2009 at 11:15 am 8 comments

My Memorial Post. (You all know you wanna do it too)

The world is suddenly less weird.

And less beautiful.

June 26, 2009 at 7:17 am 2 comments

Some Girls like Men with Facial Hair…

Others prefer some guitar-age.

What is your #1 happiness trait of the opposite sex?

June 24, 2009 at 12:14 pm 3 comments

Top (Kinda) ten things that make today what it is.

1. The plumber arrived… before 8 am… to fix our yucky pipes. God bless him! As I write he is in there tinkering away in the kitchen with Hubs.

2. It sounds as if Hubs has made a new friend. Dinner with the plumber anybody?

3. I got a frantic sms from Pookie, which let to a drunken phone call which can all be rectified today once she wakes up and has less of a hangover.

4. I was able to lay in bed past 6 am… past 6:30 am and only got my lazy ass up once the plumber knocked on the front door at 7:30 am…

5. There is something in knowing that my daily quota of foul language is used up by 7:31am.

6. Tonight I will be able to wash dishes in my kitchen sink again! Oh joys!

7. I can no longer fend off Hub’s moans about not having clean clothes… because now my pipes will be fixed. Sad day.

8. Thankfully I can only think of eight things right now. Cut me some slack, its only 28 minutes since I got up!

9. Wait I thought of one more, no wait. It’s gone.

10. Skin and bones.

11. Johnny Depp.

Yep. I did conclude my list with Johnny Depp. because he s alive today enhances my chance meeting with him like 100%. SO here’s to you Mr. Depp!

May 6, 2009 at 5:49 am 3 comments

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