Posts tagged ‘Funny crap’

It’s funnier to be mean.

I am not a nice person.

So, it’s a very good thing that I am hilarious.

Use some of these the next time you wanna channel little ole me in an arguement with your little brother (or husband). I’m not sayin’ they’ll be insulted *unless it were the truth* but they will probably can themselves and forget that you bumped their car on the lampost…

Rude Insults
1. You have the face like a Saint – a Saint Bernard.

2. If I ever need a brain transplant, I’d choose yours because I’d want a brain that had never been used.

3. You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now I see that you are just the opposite – you are obnoxious and arrogant.

4. Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

5. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

6. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

7. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

8. You have an inferiority complex – and it’s fully justified.

9. Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It’ll only take 10 seconds.

And Number 10: A Personal Favourite

10. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.

*Note: If you are kicked in the (girl) balls after saying any one of those insults… it was not my idea and you should go cry to your mommy and not me.*

August 30, 2009 at 8:02 pm 4 comments

I like my husband.

Hubs is a great guy. He took me to the art store when I told him that everything was 50% off. (In SA the best sales are 35% off at best. This is a BIG sale) I was so excited. We waltz through the steel gate into paradise.

And I saw them.

Inkadinkado Rubber Stamps.

They are gorgeous.

Hubs looked at me when I pulled them off the shelf. I begged he conceded. As I pranced with the joy of holding beautiful objects, he casually mentions “Babe, I have wooden blocks at home for you to decorate.” Oh how sweet! I giggled and thanked him and we paid.

Utterly confused, Hubs says, “I’m sorry. How in the hell are you going to fit a BLOCK OF WOOD into a book.”

A block of wood?

A block of rubber stamping wood.

And then everything made sense.

Poor supportive Hubs. He did everything to make sure I found joy even if it meant gluing blocks of wood into a book.

Doesn’t he win?

May 28, 2009 at 8:31 pm 5 comments