Self Deprecation is more fun in step format

August 13, 2009 at 2:58 pm 3 comments


Things have just gotten out of control in the life of me. By out of control I mean falling off ferris wheel outta control.

It’s my house work piling up around my school work which is piling up around my work work which is always fun. I won’t lie.

In fact, I have a really difficult job. Really difficult.

I thought it would be an interesting venture to write the steps so that ya’ll can get a glimpse into my crazy work life. Be prepared to be amazed.

Steps to do My Job.

Problem Solving/Customer Service

Step 1: Make Coffee.
Step 2: Be nice
Step 3: Wait for a problem
Step 4: Listen to client’s problem
Step 5: Be nice to client even when they aren’t nice.
Step 6: Mention that you understand. (Bonus points if you actually mean it)
Step 7: Hang up phone. Explain problem to necessary someone with authority to do something.
Step 8: Call client explain resolution of problem. Apologize for inconvenience caused to the client.
Step 9: Make coffee
Step 10: Drink Coffee
Step 11: Be Nice
Step 12: Wait for problem
Step 13: Listen to client’s problem
Step 14: Be nice to client even when they aren’t nice.
Step 15: Mention that you understand.
Step 16: Hang up phone. Explain problem to necessary someone with authority to do something.
Step 17: Call client explain resolution of problem. Apologize for inconvenience caused to the client.
Step 18: Make coffee and repeat

Sales

Step 1: Make Coffee.
Step 2: Be nice
Step 3: Answer phone when it rings.
Step 4: Listen to client.
Step 5: Be nice to client even when they aren’t nice.
Step 6: Chat to the client like they are important
Step 7: Think up stuff to tell them
Step 8: Continue thinking
Step 9: Stop what you are doing to multitask (all while chatting up client)
Step 10: Drink Coffee
Step 11: Continue being nice
Step 12: Wait until a solution dawns on you
Step 13: Get excited
Step 14: Share with client the solution
Step 15: Explain up to 10 000 proposals
Step 16: Hang up phone. Explain problem to someone with authority to sign off on an idea.
Step 17: Make Coffee
Step 18: Rake in the Dough

As you can see, in just a few short steps, you can put me outta a job.

I’m just your friendly neighborhood job giver-a-way-er.

Take it or leave it.

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Entry filed under: Touching Joy. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , .

Spring time! Glorious Spring Time! Because I can’t think of other things to talk about…

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ScoMan  |  August 14, 2009 at 7:47 am

    I don’t have good people skills, so even with an instruction manual your job is safe from me. Damn. I wanted to put you right out of work so you could Twitter me =p

    Reply
  • 2. hillbillyduhn  |  August 14, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    You can have it. All that coffee and I think I’d end up peeing myself before the day was over. =) Though, I think I wouldn’t mind having one similar.

    Reply
  • 3. miss rambles  |  August 16, 2009 at 2:55 pm

    all customer relations jobs lead to excessive coffee drinking!

    Reply

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