Coming to Terms with my Own ‘ness’

August 3, 2009 at 3:15 pm 5 comments


I am not as self aware as I like to think I am. I think that this lack of awareness is evident to every person I spend time with except myself.

In fact, my boat rocks whenever someone points out a tick, or strange habit, or personality trait that I hadn’t thought of previously.

And by rocks, I mean, that my boat dumps me into the frigid and lonely basket of self pity.

I am not a frivolous person. I don’t chat about shoes, or handbags or how “she said that he said that she wanted to be on Idols but she’s like totally way to old” crap.

There are serious things in the world. And there are few groups people (that’s tolerance right there) I dislike more than those that presume everything is a joke. Not only is it one really bad mask to hide ones insecurities behind, but it’s really annoying to someone who is trying to discuss things deeper than the skin cream she wears. (See. More tolerance.)

I care about Politics. Both here and abroad.

I care about those who cut .

I care about appreciating life.

I am not a frivolous person.

I take things rather seriously.

There are many people I know that don’t understand this. And that is what scares me. There are people (whom I am unable to ignore) who choose to well only in the frivolous. And while they are the nicest, sweetest folk- spending time with them actually hurts. Not in the elitist sense though, I don’t feel superior to these individuals becuase they take things lightly. Instead, I feel burned by them and their judgements that I take things too seriously.

Apparently that’s something unforgiveable.

But to me, it’s unabandonable.

As I come to terms with my own serious ‘ness’ (can I call it maturity?) I’ll wait until they come to terms with their childish ‘ness’. And we can meet in the middle and discuss things like TV (that I don’t really watch) and if I’m lucky, a world event or two, outside of Aston Kutcher’s latest tweet.

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Entry filed under: Touching Joy. Tags: , , .

Grace like Rain Hubs is da man.

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ScoMan  |  August 4, 2009 at 9:39 am

    We discuss TV a lot and I rarely take things seriously, but I know you still think I’m awesome. How could you not? (see, there I go not taking things seriously)

    Reply
    • 2. touchingjoy  |  August 4, 2009 at 7:35 pm

      Yeah. Sco. You are the worst! 🙂

      Reply
  • 3. hillbillyduhn  |  August 4, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    I did that when I was around your age. I was more serious than I am now. But, I think like you, I was trying to find my “ness”. Where I wanted to be. How I felt about things.

    I do think however, that being able to hold a conversation with someone and getting deeply involved in it, like politcs, religion, or peoples views and values is interesting and worthwhile.

    One of the reasons I started following you was because you made me think of things. And I enjoy that.

    Sorry I haven’t been by, took a few days away from the bloggy world!

    Reply
    • 4. touchingjoy  |  August 4, 2009 at 7:37 pm

      It’s nice to know that I am not the only one out there that finds this valueable. I truly think that this is not valueable to society anymore. Thinking for ones self, and discovering how and why things really are the way they are isn’t pursued. Instead it is the knowledge of the latest fashion trends in Milan that get’s people’s head spinning.

      Thanks for the compliment my friend! I hope you feel well rested from your time away! 🙂

      Reply
  • 5. MiSS RAmbLEs  |  August 4, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    this is the shiz tht makes us individuals and should never have to compromise who you are for others so you gone on with your ”ness##its wot makes you YOU and i like YOU the way you ARE:)

    Reply

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