Archive for August, 2009

The one where I try and be encouraging

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When you’ve exhausted all possibilities, remember this—you haven’t.

*Robert H. Schuller*

Let’s chat friends. What things have you pretty much given up on… that maybe might just spring back into being if you just tried.

August 31, 2009 at 2:42 pm 5 comments

It’s funnier to be mean.

I am not a nice person.

So, it’s a very good thing that I am hilarious.

Use some of these the next time you wanna channel little ole me in an arguement with your little brother (or husband). I’m not sayin’ they’ll be insulted *unless it were the truth* but they will probably can themselves and forget that you bumped their car on the lampost…

Rude Insults
1. You have the face like a Saint – a Saint Bernard.

2. If I ever need a brain transplant, I’d choose yours because I’d want a brain that had never been used.

3. You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now I see that you are just the opposite – you are obnoxious and arrogant.

4. Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

5. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

6. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

7. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

8. You have an inferiority complex – and it’s fully justified.

9. Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It’ll only take 10 seconds.

And Number 10: A Personal Favourite

10. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.

*Note: If you are kicked in the (girl) balls after saying any one of those insults… it was not my idea and you should go cry to your mommy and not me.*

August 30, 2009 at 8:02 pm 4 comments

Hair Lopping

I cut 3 inches of hair to celebrate spring. and then the springtime went away. Cruel? Yes. Typical? Probably.

Anyway, I promised a picture. Here you go:
P1040102

I know what you are thinking. “Hey what? This chick’s making a funny face!”

Yes, because as I am taking this photo I suddenly realise that I have no make-up on. Which leads me to think “Blog FAIL”. Which lead me to think of this picture:

You are welcome

You are welcome



so this is me trying not to laugh.

August 28, 2009 at 3:05 pm 5 comments

The one which breaks the silence

Life is beautiful. Right here and right now.

August 26, 2009 at 3:19 pm 4 comments

Giveaway awesomeness

Back off ladies.

I want to win.

But becasue I believe there is enough sunshine in the world

I’ll share.

Sleepyjane is awesome and is hosting a giveaway of note.

Go check it out!

August 21, 2009 at 3:00 pm 3 comments

Because I can’t think of other things to talk about…

Happy Saturday! This week was a stressful and yucky one for me.

But, my flu is on it’s way out (I ate breakfast for the first time this week!)

I lost 3 kgs this week.

Pookie and I are going to have an awesome weekend in just 2 weeks time.

It’s sad because I haven’t seen her since the wedding. Lame.

I’m going off to get a haircut today.

Even if Hubs doesn’t realise it yet.

I think this weekend is going to make up for my less than desireable week.

August 15, 2009 at 6:47 am 6 comments

Self Deprecation is more fun in step format

Things have just gotten out of control in the life of me. By out of control I mean falling off ferris wheel outta control.

It’s my house work piling up around my school work which is piling up around my work work which is always fun. I won’t lie.

In fact, I have a really difficult job. Really difficult.

I thought it would be an interesting venture to write the steps so that ya’ll can get a glimpse into my crazy work life. Be prepared to be amazed.

Steps to do My Job.

Problem Solving/Customer Service

Step 1: Make Coffee.
Step 2: Be nice
Step 3: Wait for a problem
Step 4: Listen to client’s problem
Step 5: Be nice to client even when they aren’t nice.
Step 6: Mention that you understand. (Bonus points if you actually mean it)
Step 7: Hang up phone. Explain problem to necessary someone with authority to do something.
Step 8: Call client explain resolution of problem. Apologize for inconvenience caused to the client.
Step 9: Make coffee
Step 10: Drink Coffee
Step 11: Be Nice
Step 12: Wait for problem
Step 13: Listen to client’s problem
Step 14: Be nice to client even when they aren’t nice.
Step 15: Mention that you understand.
Step 16: Hang up phone. Explain problem to necessary someone with authority to do something.
Step 17: Call client explain resolution of problem. Apologize for inconvenience caused to the client.
Step 18: Make coffee and repeat

Sales

Step 1: Make Coffee.
Step 2: Be nice
Step 3: Answer phone when it rings.
Step 4: Listen to client.
Step 5: Be nice to client even when they aren’t nice.
Step 6: Chat to the client like they are important
Step 7: Think up stuff to tell them
Step 8: Continue thinking
Step 9: Stop what you are doing to multitask (all while chatting up client)
Step 10: Drink Coffee
Step 11: Continue being nice
Step 12: Wait until a solution dawns on you
Step 13: Get excited
Step 14: Share with client the solution
Step 15: Explain up to 10 000 proposals
Step 16: Hang up phone. Explain problem to someone with authority to sign off on an idea.
Step 17: Make Coffee
Step 18: Rake in the Dough

As you can see, in just a few short steps, you can put me outta a job.

I’m just your friendly neighborhood job giver-a-way-er.

Take it or leave it.

August 13, 2009 at 2:58 pm 3 comments

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