Love Letters II

July 7, 2009 at 7:58 am 16 comments

Dear Kitchen Sink,

Please grow the self cleaning mechanisms to wash my dishes on my behalf. The way that you allow the dishes to pile up makes me look like a bad wife and an overall poor housekeeper. It’s despicable and I am tired of your sloppy approach to cleanliness. Get moving. Go, Go, Go.


The Boss


Dear Heater,

Breaking down on the coldest day of the year to date was uncool. We gave you a chance to proof yourself and you failed. Big time. Be prepared to be replaced by one that will work harder than you.

Claim unemployment or something.


One frigid lady


Dear Psychic that thinks Michael Jackson was an alien,

You are nuts.


A logical person who knows that white skin, strange facial features and weird social tendencies are more accredited to weirdness than to extra terrestrials


Dear my former Kettle,

What the freak? Why did you listen to the heater and kisk out on me? Just before the inlaws came over too? Are you planning a coup on me? Bad timing Mister. Very bad timing. I thought we were friends? All the great times we shared in that little icebox known as Pretoria- fubar. I’ll miss you, but you chose your own fate.


An old friend who enjoyed too many steamy drinks at 4 in the morning.


Dear New Board Game,

You are like monopoly and trivial pursuit but even hotter. I love you!


Your adoring fan


Dear person who keeps sending me spam,

Suck it.

Best Regards,

The one who is getting tired of deleting your crap.


Dear Weirdos who find my blog by typing porn words into Google,

Although it entertains Hubs and I with the words you type to try and find me, and although it will make one really funny post one day, I kind of find you revolting and wish for you to leave.

If that shines and sparkles with you, of course.



To: Sco-man,

I’m glad you are back.

From: Your #1 Fan


Dear Spring,

Momma’s ready for you!


Dear Hubs,

I positively adore you.


Your go-go


Dear reader,

I’m glad you stopped by today. I love you.




Entry filed under: Touching Joy. Tags: , , , , , , , .

Being Mr and Mrs Fancypants! Creations

16 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Twitted by RHiccups  |  July 7, 2009 at 8:12 am

    […] This post was Twitted by RHiccups […]

  • 2. MiSS RAmbLEs  |  July 7, 2009 at 9:24 am

    hahahaha loved the letters to your kettle and heater!!

    and def glad to see the ScoMan back in blog land!

    and spring for you means its almost winter time for me so if we could jst hold back on tht its cool.

    and loves u too!i enjoy stopping by, i may not comment on very post but i DO read!

    • 3. touchingjoy  |  July 7, 2009 at 1:40 pm

      Miss rambles: I’m so glad I’ve got a friend in you! I would love to hear what you think about the crap that comes out of my mouth more often! 🙂

  • 4. ScoMan  |  July 7, 2009 at 9:25 am

    I got double love. Love for being back and love for reading.

    And Dear Touching Joy,

    Thank you for entertaining me with your wonderful blogs. I won’t ever leave again, and if I do, it will be temporary and for a predetermined amount of time, and everyone will get plenty of warning.

    Also, I want to know what the new board game is, but I doubt it’s as fun as Monopoly. Nothing is as fun as Monopoly.

    YOUR #1 Fan

    • 5. touchingjoy  |  July 7, 2009 at 1:42 pm

      Sco man: Aw. yay! I am glad you are staying. And for me, the game is more interesting than monopoly. It’s one of those couples games where by you quiz one another about how much you know.

  • 6. Hillbilly Duhn  |  July 7, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Dear ScoMan,
    You totally took my Dear Touching Joy, and I’m perterbed by you at this present moment.
    Love, Hillbilly whose really glad to have you back too!

    Dear Touching Joy,
    Throwing the lubs back at you, and think we should get a petition to thwart Spam bastards from future spammy crap.

    Your true number one fan. Whose not ScoMan.

    • 7. touchingjoy  |  July 7, 2009 at 2:08 pm

      HillBilly: There’s a lot of me to go around. I promise. And it’s not a joke I stepped on the scale and whew! There’s a lot of me! 🙂

      • 8. Hillbilly Duhn  |  July 7, 2009 at 2:21 pm

        That’s horrible! You should never say such a thing about yourself. You’re beautiful darling, I’ve seen pictures!!

  • 9. cavyfc  |  July 7, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    dear touching joy,

    if you don’t inform me what this board game is, i’ma hafta choke a bitch.

    not serious but sort of,

    • 10. touchingjoy  |  July 7, 2009 at 2:07 pm

      Cavy: Welcome to the nuthouse. No really welcome. The game is called monogamy- Complete with a very happy ending. 🙂 Oh glory. My mother is probably going to read that. curses.

  • 11. Being Brazen  |  July 7, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    I wish my kitchen sink would also just do the dishes by itself…

    cute post

    • 12. touchingjoy  |  July 7, 2009 at 2:44 pm

      I think science should forgo the whole exploration of space and place more effort in creating self washing utilities.

  • 13. touchingjoy  |  July 7, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    Hillbilly: Thanks for the compliment. Marriage has done the weirdest thing on my ass. I swear it’s grown! 🙂 It’s not a bad thing to recognise a growing ass and reverse it 🙂 But thanks for saying the sweetest things, lovely!

  • 14. C.J.  |  July 8, 2009 at 3:06 am

    Very sweet. 😉

  • 15. Car  |  July 10, 2009 at 8:08 pm

    Heard about that game from your younger sister…. nothing can shock me, so don’t sweat it! 🙂 …..Mom 🙂

    • 16. touchingjoy  |  July 11, 2009 at 6:55 am

      She did? How embarrassing. Just as a footnote, it’s very classy and not at all an icky game. Just a married people Monopoly/Trivial Pursuit. 🙂


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